Phantom of the Paradise

(1974)

Favorite quote: "There really is a phantom! He was just in my shower!"

This is one of the few films where Brian DePalma's sometimes stilted and melodramatic directorial methods (screen wipes, split screens, etc) are used to perfect effect. This satirical, extremely funny rock opera is an adaption of the original "Phantom of the Opera", with some Faust and a bit of "The Picture of Dorian Grey" thrown into the mix.

Paul Williams portrays Swan, a devilish music producer who steals composer Winslow Leach's original rock cantata score. Leach (William Finley) is disfigured while trying to wreak revenge on Swan, then succumbs to Swan's invitation to re-write the cantata if Phoenix (Jessica Harper) is allowed to perform it. The music alone is worth having, as Paul Williams is an excellent songwriter, with serious songs such as the haunting "Old Souls" (beautifully performed by Jessica Harper) included along with the campier fare. It's well worth watching over and over, played through your stereo, LOUD!

Several scenes and characters stand out: Beef, portrayed by Gerrit Graham, is my favorite: a mixture of the ridiculous "glitter rock" musicians of the time, with an ultra-effiminate side. Jessica Harper, in her first screen role, is sweet, pretty, an excellent singer, and her little dance around the stage as she auditions (I call it her "chicken dance") for Swan never fails to make me laugh out loud. Paul Williams is kind of creepy-looking on a good day, and is perfect for this part.

This is as good a movie, if not better, than "Rocky Horror Picture Show", but it has not as yet attained the level of popularity it deserves.

Of Human Bondage

(1934)

Bette Davis became a star with her role in this first and best film adaptation of the Somerset Maugham novel of the same name (well worth a read). This was her first nomination for an Academy Award, for her portrayal of Mildred Rogers; a tawdry, sluttish, cockney waitress who bewitches hapless Philip Carey (Leslie Howard, best known for his role as Ashley Wilkes in "Gone With the Wind"). She lost the award, receiving it for her role the following year for "Dangerous", which is generally viewed as a consolation prize.

The supporting cast includes Reginald Denny, Alan Hale Sr. (father of Alan Hale Jr., who was the skipper on the TV series "Gilligan's Isle"), and an angelicly beautiful Frances Dee.

The film starts out with Philip, a failed art student with a clubfoot (about which he is highly sensitive), turning to the study of medicine after facing that he has no artistic talent. Shortly thereafter he meets and quickly becomes obsessed with Mildred, despite her sneering and obvious disdain for him because of his deformity. Her standard response to his affectionate overtures is a chilly "I don't mind." In his dreams Mildred is sweet and kind to him; during real time she uses him, well aware of his affection for her, leaving him for other men and returning when she is down on her luck, ruining his chance for having a career or a normal life with another woman; but he finds himself inexorably drawn to her, even after his love for her has waned, until the day she finally pushes him too far, and he says, "You disgust me."

With those words, the camera turns fully to Mildred, and her facial expression flickers, then shifts from supplication to shock to full-on bitch in a matter of seconds, as she reacts to Philip's statement with a barrage of blood-curdling insults. Bette Davis as Mildred never fails to raise the hair on the back of my neck and arms with her performance, especially in this particular scene.

"Of Human Bondage" remains one of my all-time favorite Davis films along with others such as "The Little Foxes", "The Letter", and "All About Eve".

The Brain That Wouldn't Die

(1962)

"Alive... without a body... fed by an unspeakable horror from hell!"

So reads the tagline for this laughter-inducing horror film.

Dr. Bill Cortner is an egotistical and arrogant physician who likes to experiment with bodies in his spare time. In the first scene, after exclaiming, "He's dead! I can't do any harm!" and "Sure! I've made a few mistakes, but I've learned from them! Learned!" he is allowed by his physician father to take over in the operating room when a patient dies on the table.

Good Dr. Bill is next seen recklessly driving himself and his sweet, horny fiance Jan out to his country house; the car crashes, he salvages Jan's head from the burning wreckage, wraps his prize in his jacket, and runs the rest of the way with it like he's going for a touchdown during a football game. Once he gets to his lab, he sets her all up and presto! It's "Jan in a pan!" as I have heard this film referred to in the past.

Almost immediately his once-sweet lady (well, her head anyway) becomes a screeching shrew hoarsely calling out such lines as "Revenge! I hate him for what he's done to me!" as the desperate doctor goes on the hunt for a suitable body to use for restoring his girl back into something more, uhm, fully functional. His search takes him to strip joints and a beauty contest, to name two avenues he tries before he finds someone he believes to be a suitable candidate, telling her, "I'm going to cut your face off and give away your body, ah ha ha!" as she innocently laughs along.

To add to the fun, there is of course the wretched assistant with a mangled arm; one of the doctor's earlier "mistakes", and the "thing" locked in a closet in the lab. There's also the continual soundtrack of horns and sleazy stripper-like music. As far as the gore factor, this movie is actually pretty gruesome for its time, although the blood seems to be rather conveniently spilled (downstairs, but not upstairs, for instance), and "Jan in a Pan" laughs more maniacally as the movie progresses.

It's never explained how the head can speak without lungs or a body, although it must be the *new and improved* "Adreno-serum" as it's called that's being pumped into Jan's head, but then again who cares? Continuity flubs abound and serve to add to the camp factor. And look for the ending credits, which list the movie as "The Head That Wouldn't Die".

You can find this movie on Amazon.com in a DVD version that has the original film by itself, and also the film as part of an episode of Mystery Science Fiction Theatre 3000, the now-defunct hit TV show. Well, all I had to review this film with was my raggedy old videotape that appears to be degrading, so after watching it again, I gave into temptation and ordered the Amazon DVD of it. It'll be worth having a really good version of this so-bad-it's-funny bomb.

Just a "Teaser" review here...

(1954 and 1955)

I will write something something slightly more substantial next time, but I couldn't resist doing a short blurb on two camp classics I received in the mail and viewed a couple of days ago: "Varietease" and "Teaserama" - 1954 and 1955 short burlesque-type films featuring clips of beautiful '50s pinup icon Bettie Page.

Bettie loses some "coolness points" when she dances, but if you go into frame-by-frame mode on your DVD player it's obvious that each frame of her dancing would have made a great still shot in and of itself. Proof that she was a great poser, and a lousy dancer, but as she has said herself, she was "far from being a professional dancer". She is very appealing despite the fact that neither my husband nor myself could contain our raucous laughter during her dance scenes. Her sparkle and sense of fun are evident throughout, she is in great shape, and her ever-changing and playful facial expressions are absolute treats to see.

Plus! You get to "Hear Bettie speak!" in addition to seeing her jump around - uhhm I mean dance.

The best part of the DVD is a silent, black and white arcade film loop of Bettie created for those old-time coin-activated peep-show viewers....Bettie gyrates up to a point, then the screen is suddenly blocked out with a caption telling the viewer to insert coins to see more of the film. This of course occurs at a regular basis during this particular short, as it did when those types of films were originally shown. Classic camp!

There are also appearances by a rather famous, albeit scary-looking drag queen from the time, and some professional strippers who could have passed for drag queens...but I bought these really just for the Bettie Page segments; these two DVD's are a must-have for Bettie Page fans.

Hello and Welcome (Introduction)

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time sitting on the floor, two feet away from the TV, watching old movies with my mother while she sat curled up in bed behind me. We had the best time. We watched all the classic silver screen films she grew up with and loved, and we also loved any and all horror movies. We would both be warning some teenager about to get sliced up, "No! Don't go in there! You'll be sorry! Watch out! Look behind you!" as my father would wander into the room and mutter, "What are you two watching now?"

On Saturday nights I'd try to stay up all night to watch an all-night horror feature show called "Shock Theatre." This I would do in my father's study, in front of a small, old, black and white TV brought in from the kitchen, and I'd wear little earphones that worked with the TV so as not to disturb the rest of the family as they slept. My father took the above photo of me before I could even look up from the TV, as I was watching "Shock Theatre" late one night.

My love of films has continued throughout my life. My affection for the older ones prevails, and I have along the way also acquired a love of the campy B horror films such as the ones by William Castle and George Romero. However, my favorite director has been and will always be Alfred Hitchcock.

In college I majored in Commercial Art, and double-minored in Film Criticism, and Creative Writing. For the film minor I had to constantly write papers over the course of the four years of college, reviewing the films we were shown. Some that I remember watching and writing papers on were "Lawrence of Arabia", "The Haunting", "Play Misty for Me", and "The Silent Partner". I also remember writing one entire paper just on the music in "Psycho." To me all of this was like getting paid to rob a candy store.

What has bothered me more and more over the years since has been what seems to be a waning interest in older films, and this includes films that were made just 20 years ago (which isn't even old, but many people seem to think so). I whine a lot to friends about all the lousy remakes of classics that keep getting spewed out. The first two that come to mind are the remakes of "The Stepford Wives" and "The Manchurian Candidate". Blasphemy!

Recently a friend of mine suggested I start a movie review website. My reply was, "Why? I'd just be mostly whining about how movies today suck compared to the older ones, and I'd be telling people which older films to go see. I wouldn't review any of the new dumb movies, I'd be saying, "HEY! Go rent the original 'The Manchurian Candidate' or "HEY! Go rent 'All About Eve!'", ad nauseum.

Well, actually, maybe this isn't such a bad idea. Maybe some people who never would have done so will check out some of these oldies but goodies and enjoy them. Or not.

It helps if you understand up front that my taste in movies includes dark humor, politically incorrect situations, British humor, horror, and camp, in addition to my swooning over long-gone hunks of the silver screen such as my all-time favorite, Gary Cooper.

But no, this is not a movie review. Not yet. Don't be hatin'.